Guilty is the only word I can say now.. it’s not about dodo’s matter but about piggy head.. I noe you r starting to be irritated.. dun control, if u really hate me den let it be.. u told me to understand another person, is to put myself into that’s person’s shoes.. I tried, hopefully without my own feelings mixed inside too.. All I felt was a very strong of guilt, prob becos of wat I said to you, and a heart that is very uncomfortable.. I told you already, me reading both your stories already make me feel sad, what more you? I guess you know I’m quite determined to make those dams of yours broken, prob I was being selfish and not consider what you really feel.. but I know running away is also not a solution.. you will still have to face it one day.. prob if you faced it now, you will realize who is the actual one in your heart.. hopefully a girlish way of letting those flow away will help you.. guess you will not call me back liao… wait.. he called me back again!!

Argh!!! Me computer really dun lik me lohz.. wawa.. dun let me post.. noe I gt limited space in my memory, still bully me.. hmpth.. shall type out wat I wan sae first if nt 2mr go sch 4 sure forget wat I wan sae one.. piggy head.. im here to warn u.. if u dunwan to noe anything about those posts in ur dodo’s blog, u betta dun read this.. cos it’s gona be on it.. dunwan spoil ur dae.. Im going to start.. duno wat to sae also.. read her blog.. always depresses me.. but y do I always wan to read it to depress myself? Haha.. prob becos Im kpo.. actually I really duno.. haiz.. felt so confuse when reading her blog.. was lik her.. had many qns I wanted to ask.. becos they seemed so close with piggy fetching her after sch.. wat’s going on.. actually I used to wonder y is she always saeing until lik they were steads..i tot it was becos of tt one gdnite *** .. but it seems lik prob they really spend a lot of time together before.. now it seems lik I was really the third party.. piggy does age really matter so much? If she noes this small factor tt bring her to a disadvantage, it’s gonna hurt.. really!! Prob those qns can wait or prob I shdn’t ask at all.. cos I noe piggy really wans to get away frm it.. me reading her post prob is already something he doesn’t really like.. But reading her blog.. brought back a lot of past memories.. wat she sae.. some of her qns.. is wat I experienced b4 and wat I wanted to ask.. prob I din hate him to tt extend.. I duno.. cant rem much.. but I noe wat she’s feeling was wat I was feeling.. she losing him was lik him losing pris.. y is love always so sad.. always told my frienz tt juz ended their relationships tt we hav to go thru all this pain b4 we can find the rite one.. but when im involve.. it’s nv easy to sae it.. sometimes I rather be the only one getting hurt.. and nt get so many pple involve.. sicko rite? Hahah.. used to it already.. im nt trying to act wei da here.. 4 me sad memories will roll away lik those tears tt flow.. but 4 others it’s nt this way… shall stray and tok bad about him Liking or even loving this piggy head is never an easy thing.. hahah.. tips 4 others out there? Haha.. 4 his future crush… Though he doesn’t look appealing, he has a character that makes people around him very comfortable, a mouth that doesn’t allow him to lose face you will for sure get irritated by him, but happy somehow without those irritating words, tt’s not him already he never like to get too involve with BGR and mushy stuff if he was given a choice, he would rather let girls do the chasing though part of the reason is he being lazy, but he just doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Seeing a girl cry can even bring him to tears what more rejecting her, saying the true reason behind it? For him to say it out whether is it to chase her or reject her is a big obstacle course for him that’s why asking him to make a decision is almost impossible! He never seems to be able to let go of his past that’s why that makes it even more difficult for him to make a decision so cant really sae he yi jiao ta liang chuan under pressure, he will just agree to what make the other party happy so if you want a lasting relationship, better give him time and space but be prepared that he wont even tell you anything after a long time so if you wanna to like him.. you must nt only be able to tolerate him nt replying ur sms or falling asleep while toking, or being unconcern of your past or something you r doing.. but oso a lot on his emotional being.. something tt almost no one has really seen or understand it yet.. me so insensitive, hw to understand him? Prob dodo treasure him and understand more than I do.. wat I sae above is frm experience from the 3-4yrs..

hey hey im back again.. hahah.. too bo liao nehz.. suppose to be doing pw.. but haiz.. u noe u noe lahz.. but the com oso very meany lehz.. dun let me d/l anything to c oso.. hmpth.. let me act hard working for a while mahz! :P todae very tired nehz.. now is nt enough slp.. think is slp too much tt's y!!! hahah piggy head 4 sure kill me one cos yest night never really li him!! aiyo toking about him.. muz beat buttock liao.. huh! 1.30am den orh orh.. or prob even later.. but 2dae i gt one time very high nehz.. cos i met gong gong.. den she sae she like me bloggy song!! but sorrie nehZ duno hw send 2 u.. cos it comes wif the skin.. :D .. den zhu tou was lik crying partly becos of the song.. haha.. eheh.. shd nt be happy cos i din get to c... let me tok about funny thing first.. abit lag behind date but nvm lahz.. funny jiu hao rite? haha cos esther malu herslf wat.. aiyo after one mth hols and after mid-yrs.. was thinking to myself muz be mre serious in my work.. den muz be a not so blur cg rap and stuff... juz when i was thinking of tt in the bus.. haiz.. was scolded straight after cuming down the bus.. actually i was already wondering y i was lik the only mj ger on the bus.. haiz.. only to realise tt i was late 4 1/2 an hr after being scolded by vp!!! wawawaw.. aiyo.. really lohz.. she ask me the past 6mths wat time do i cum to sch only mon and tues.. frankly speaking.. i really cant remember!!! i juz guess 9am cos i was tere at 9.30am and was scolded.. actually i even forgt tt sch start later on mon and tues lohz.. it was gong gong tt told me it was 9.30am.. haiz.. the funny thing was i tot i was nt the only sotong one.. gong gong oso came at 9.30am.. was still laughing over it todae.. hahah gt grandpa, gt granddaughter!!! okie okie.. the sad thing.. actually can sae it's none of my business, but oso can sae tt im the cause of it!! @_@ i indirectly hurt a ger.. hu was really or can i sae is still in luv wif piggy head.. piggy head told her every thing in a way.. saeing tt he found the one (box u ahz u nt confirm kaez).. tt made her go crazy.. all she could do was to scream and cry.. o man.. if im the one i saeing it and watching it i oso cant tahan.. haiz.. den wat mre piggy head.. guess he muz be feeling lik soooo guilty.. but still trying nt to think bt it liao.. he cried.. haiz.. sorrie.. piggy head.. audrey.. to audrey: if he is really urs.. he will definitely return to ur side.. haiz.. write all this she oso cant see.. wonder is she beta nw haiz.. tonite think piggy wont be happy again.. cos her frien approach him again.. ** rem dun hide it to urself kaez... still gt me... at most cry together.. nothing shy liao ** hahaha.. finally nt meeting piggy todae.. wah.. met him for lik consectively 5days.. haha u think 5day week ahz.. whee~!! feel a sense of satisfaction cos giv him surprises.. like trick him about the tix and money.. give him a small small pressie.. sae some weird weird stuff to him, i oso cant take it lohz.. haha.. duno whether to him was it a surprise a not.. but a least i tot they were.. but majority was lik mission failed.. haha.. but nw all i hav to sae is me brain brain is drained.. lets c cant rem wat i wan sae liao.. haiz.. always lik tt.. argh.. the last ting i can think of to sae is my exams results.. haiz.. terrible.. vegetable.. incorrigible.. even my chem teacher oso duno wat to sae about us liao.. usually he will juz sae.. " rubbish! This is rubbish! you c the bin there? what r u waiting 4? " missed it out of a sudden.. haiz.. maths teacher change.. she quite stirct.. hmm.. but hope tt she will be nice and friendly when it is time to.. :D okok.. lastly.. to frienz out there.. though we always sae "fail liao" so easily.. i noe none of u all wan tt to happen too.. so rem work hard 4 it.. dun be tied down by tis.. it's still a long road ahead! at most u c me more often only for outside study sessions and hav mre nightmares.. muahahaha!!! kaez kaez.. bye bye.. jaz is lik reading my prev tag beside me lahz.. shy nehz!! @_@

hey hey.. supposed to have posted a very impt post up but it sort of failed.. so sad can.. i type so long nehz.. somemore kana niam by booboohead.. bleahx.. somemore ended up hav to tell him by mouth.. i had to lik do it on tt dae becos i short term memory.. think i will forget the moment i fall aslp.. so muz sae out... :D feeling abit weird now cos typing it in sch lahz.. malu nehz.. who ask me bro's com toooo good already.. kept spoiling under my magical hands.. hahaha.. think im like the first and the last person he will ban frm letting me use his com!!! haha... 2dae is 1st anniversary.. haha.. sae to be one month since we cried.. but gt hidden meaning one lahz.. shy nehz.. i giv u pressie already.. where's mine? hmpth.. nxt time muz x2!! so do like the surprises i give u? hahah im gd rite? but ahz.. limited one ahz.. no more liao,me need go read up mre books first.. so at the moment we shall juz u-turn back to our old ways.. BULLYING.. wait is nt we.. is me only.. :D aiyo me need to make it short.. piggy head.. dun feel sad abt dodo tt thingy already kaez.. noe u been lik running frm it.. ah bish! muz share rite?!?! cannot console u at least rang wo ma ma mahz.. me mouth itchy nehz.. :P ok me need to do something den go 4 lect liao.. cya.. erm duno when.. :D

wa.... 2dae is a day we did things we haven done 4 a long time.. or shall i add, did things we nv do b4 too.. let me start.. poor brain.. going no mre juice liao.. early in the morning.. 1plus 2.. we tok over the fone.. haha. main point.. or the only thing i can rem.. o man .. u love her so much.. it's such a waste.. gers lik her is hard to cum by.. duno her well.. but someone tt can make u so crazy and sae so much profound phrases, is indeed rare! :D but she's so nice.. juz lik a big jie jie to me.. early afternoon.. met 4 mum mum.. whee~!! so happy trick zhu tou again.. told him i only had 10bucks, so cant buy tix.. haiz.. failed abit.. cos wanted to giv him outside the cinema after lunch.. bt he wanted to buy it while we were waiting to get into ding tai fung.. but nvm.. hahaha.. i have to admit tt i really din noe tt the soup in xiao long bao was so hot...hahaha bt it was gd!! nt only the food and drinks.. bt oso gd tt i trick zhu tou and he treated me again!!! :D feeling bad again.. shh.. dun expose me ahz.. hahaha quick giv me the best actress award!! i succeeded in one thing.. telling him tt i gt the tix 4 the wrong shw!!! hahaha.. actually it was really true tt the person heard wrongly.. hahha din noe tt he really believe!!! whee~!!! it was until i pass him the tix in the cinema tt he realised his tupidness... haha nu ren bu huai nan ren bu ai mahz.. muz make every outing mre memorable wat.. if nt very boring.. actually u oso muz ke lian me.. wo jiao jin nao zhi cai xiang dao de nehz! :D went to ecp again.. wa piggy head really lift up to his name lohz.. sleep until so shuang.. make me shoulder ache somemre.. i din dare slp cos i duno how long was the journey and duno where to stp.. was looking around to find 4 a over-head bridge beside the busstop and white flats.. wanted to wake him up a few times when i saw ECP on the sign board.. gd thing nv if nt i malu myself again.. cos ECP is one of the highway in sg.. reach ecp.. was abit high at the underpass.. wanted to play scissor, paper,stone.. bt too many people.. shy!! @_@ when i reach saw lousy king.. fine lahz noe u tall.. no need mak it so obvious rite.. was taking a stroll to bbq pit 16&17 abit far ahz.. hahah but it was so windy.. saw piggy head tong lei.. horny dog.. helicopter carrying singapore flag.. i guess i heard someone fart too! hahaha.. was my massage gd?!?! seating near a bench near the pit and started toking cock.. think tt time elastic or maybe inelastic collision took place.. i was lik in a stony mood, nt very happy or sad, juz wanted to enjoy wind on piggy head lap.. den zhu tou was on high.. irritating me wif my moo moo cow song!!! Argh.. he promised me tt there will be stars.. whee~!!!! indeed u din bluff me.. **muakZz** so nice.. esp when it gt later at night.. beautiful! could even c them wifout my specs.. went to a big and dark space.. wah.. i saw fake firefly too!!! i was so tired aft both of us became 'crazy' and was lik lying on piggy head lap.. seeing stars, gold frm afar.. everything was so peaceful.. so magical.. so fake.. it was lik in dreamland.. juz so nice.. which i could juz sleep there!!! haha.. but felt guilty after tt.. :S rem our promise.. y u becuming nicer and nicer to me? i wont xin luan one kaez.. come on manz.. move ur crappy mouth and ur abusive hands.. but nt to hard oso ahz.. :D aiyo cant stand myself so long winded!!! wa.. so diff to get a cab even when its already going to be 12mn!!! had to book a cab.. haha.. the trip back was a quiet one.. but it wasn't a gan ga one.. prob a happy, peaceful yet tired one!!! but wat was making me freak out was the taxi fare.. wah jump faster den my heart lohz.. total fare was lik $21.80.. i only paid $0.80.. haha wat does this show? zhu tou is going to be broke very very soon!!! we shall start saving kaez... 1 piece of bread a day only! like tt can save and oso jian fei mahz.. wa toking about tt.. im lik only taking 2meals a dae only 4 the past few daes..including breakfast.. let me comment on the movie alittle.. haha it's so cool and sweet.. oliver and emily only went out less den 10times in 7yrs.. yet they r still together.. tt's wat i mean by real love.. by God's will.. so sweet.. hope i won't be like emily's bf.. the one tt abandon her after having s**.. hope we will be crazy lik them.. acting skills.. able to tok about everything under the sun!!! my wish.. my wish!! going to end soon.. but i juz rem something.. i tell u ahz.. i gt weak heart.. stop lifting me up frm the ground nehz!! u only a few kg heavier den me only can.. somemre u do not have wide base, so nt stable.. scary!! u wan ur ah gong bones to shatter huh? thx 4 everything! :D

i shall continue frm where i stop this afternoon.. but b4 i start.. me wan thank the person whu made tis bloggy skin.. :) .. it's so chio.. juz lik in lalaland! :D okie okie.. muz learn to kick my late late habit.. hahah but thx to my late late habit, i din hav to go so far cos ah ren out of a sudden change venue to cp! cos she burnt her finger.. haha tot was juz a small case but i was like totally gross out when i saw it lahz.. so BIG blister.. like baby croc eyes like tt.. hohohoh!!! suppose to meet at 2.30 becum lik 3plus going 4.. gong gong oso gt cum nehz! miss them so much, pl frienz still rocks.. ah ren seems to becum softer, the loud hailer was like cindy!hahaha.. stray abit.. the sfy opening harp was playing at was so grand lohz.. mj sc was ushering.. so many pple lohz.. all thanks to me, nt u.. gt fascinated by some cartoon shw, den we found our way to the recital studio.. cchms guitar was playing, surprisingly (seems lik it's meant 4 us to be there).. gt a cute ger nehz.. zhu tou regret being born so early? haha mgs handbells were gd!!! the conductor was so funny and cute.. she was dancing to music.. she was lik a thief so happy abt stealing, later being caught.. when released, she went back to her old ways (tt's her dance to the pink panther sound alike song).. i miss the harp.. miss wong still has the montherly smile.. missed it! sam.. sorrie.. din mean to pang seh u.. tot the grp of frienz u tok to was the frienz u were suppose to meet.. oops! found out abt a very shocking news, tt i never expect it to really happen.. always tot tt ah ren always ask the qn 4 fun.. but it really turn out to be true!! haiz.. but i believe that my future sis-in-law or darling-in-law will be a ydK.. no need to be yd oso can as long as it's a K! wo xiang xin ni.. haiz.. i'm still waiting to get a ji tou or can i sae a niu tou.. **hint** ya tou.. he's a nice person.. dun miss it! :D jealous of ur bear.. but i prefer a huggable one.. wait tt's nt a hint!! aiyo malu myslf so many times todae lohz... aiyo.. think the thought of seeing a shooting star has really caused my madness.. can u imagine.. i actually mistook a moth or butterfly to be a shooting star lohz.. still stare at it 4 so long can.. becos tt area was quite bright, so it sort of lik reflect a little light, esp when u r seeing it against a dark sky.. juz tt it was moving at a speed prob lesser den 1km/hr and it was able to move in circles! haiz.. nxt time dun wan wear tt skirt already.. think tt skirt is less den 10 inches long and can u imagine if u did a half split infront of yoshi?!?! so malu can.. mummy!! i wont mind being a tupid ostrish 4 once.. den second time.. hmpth fall in front of piggy head lohz.. take me shoes lahz.. make me fall.. now both knees oso gt blue black.. wan to balance it use paint can liao, no need really make me fall mahz.. some more i juz finish eating.. so i'm HEAVIER.. btw toking about food.. wah.. i was juz so hungry only lohz.. den it made me go on high cos too tired and hungry.. went to some indonesia restuarant and ordered weird food!! haha i gt phobia of trying new stuff nw.. wawa it's so hot can! hahaha felt so weird.. lik we were the youngest.. waited quite long 4 a seat.. and all becos of cowmoomoo bu yao fang qi spirit.. i became even crazier! took pic of everyting, like baby, roaster statue, u, and even me!!! this is crazy.. was brought to our seat only to be asked to leave 4 a while, while they clear the table!! later sat there 4 lik 15mins oso gt no menu.. haha den me crazy again started toking to the table mat.. to summarise the dinner experience = crazy!! yeah.. zhu tou treat nehz!!! hahaha.. wait wait!!! most important part.. cannot forget one.. ever since 13april 2002, i heard it again on 1july 2005.. felt so xing fu loh.. shant continue or some1 will start flying.. which is nt a gd thing, cos when he fall, sg will experience a earthquake 4 the first time in our whle history...

hey hey let's hope that this can be posted up asap... dun ask me what happen to my past msg.. decided to delete them, though it will bring back memories.. juz it will be bad ones.. cos when i read some posts juz nw, i felt tt i becuming miore and miore immature lehz...so sad.. all piggy head fault!!! wait... din wan to tok about him so early one, wanted to make him jealous!!! :D okie main point.. yup basically im cuming back wif a new lk!i din go 4 plastic surgery, dun worry.. can continue hiding in ur room.. if not u will c monster!!! dragon + penguin + pig + cow = monster ok dun stray... shall type a short note first cos going out soon... wif ah ren and cindy!!! whee~! so happy very long nv c them already.. yesterdae tok to gong gong and ad den to dae tok to cindy awhile over fone.. wah oso very happie nehz.. i miss the pl atmosphere! haven really gotten use to 05S227 atmosphere yet! hahaha but they r oso crazy! tt's a gd thing... im on high nw cos later going out maybe going stalk pple!!!! hahah i noe i very kpo but cant help it lahz, when i hear 5 guys going out 4 emo day!!! (emo = emotional) hahaha i cant imagine if they cry! :) i will bring more tissue! okie last point.. this a impt point.. cos it may cause vocanic eruption!!! zhu tou! i finally master 90% of ur sleeping skills liao.. hahaha.. 100% is to slp when toking over the phone wif pple, 90% is to move a few cm away from the phone and sleep... worst of all tel the person i wan go toilet... yi qu bu hui! :D shall end here.. haven pom pom and mum mum!!!! meeting ah ren at 2pm..