Haha.. im back again… miss me? This is a bloggy skin piggy choose for me… really very simple.. hahah.. but very girl too.. but its NICE!!! Haha a even mre exciting ting.. okie fine.. prob to me only.. im using a laptop to type the post.. J first time lehz.. muz time myself see how long I take! Nw is 4.25… actually was suppose to use it only at nite to do pw..den nw do hw one.. but u noe me very kpo lahz.. haha I took damn long to log in can…den when I was nt really paying attention, I actually typed the correct password.. o man that means I cant off the com now cos I act din even noe I typed something.. oops..

Haiz nv study den cum and type bloggy post.. everyone 4 sure kill me one.. except probably piggy!!! Bleahz.. is u call me update my bloggy one.. but u nv sae when.. so im doing it now lohz… heheeh..

Haiz.. tok about serious stuff nw.. something is wrong.. guess this time piggy also noe liao.. aiyo die.. gt so many to sae but duno hw type out.. juz take yest, sun, 4/9 for example.. y did I cry? Wanted pity? I really duno.. prob wan to bring across my message that I wish and hope that wat we r doing will cum to an end.. I feel tt everytime tis happen.. it seems lik it has becum a habit, a routine.. and nt so much of lovey dovey feeling liao… u saed sorrie.. but I noe it wasn’t for the ting u did.. but becos u brought tears to my eyes.. I saed it wasn’t ur fault becos I feel that most of the time it is me who lead u into it.. temptation.. u saed it cant be controlled.. but to me.. It can be.. as long as I dun cum ur house or dun tang tang.. prob it will solve it.. I duno… juz read ur bloggy.. felt sad after reading it.. many many reasons.. shall try to list it all out… prob the one tht had the most impact on me was u sae “ wat were u to me”… puzzled y u will sae that.. tried to recall wat I did to make u sae that.. I really duno y.. but I guess it’s accumulated since very long ago but becos u have been compromising tt’s y…

Prob I should ask myself the most basic qn.. who r u to me? I duno.. my stead? My bro? I noe it’s been my fault to nt wan clarify stuff.. I duno.. I cant hav stead.. u saed u will wait 4 four yrs.. but wat we r doing nw does nt reflect tt.. wait… wat im going to continue saeing is wat I really feel and im nt putting any blame on u.. wat we were like in the past will nv cum back.. though I hope it will.. or prob I tried to make it cum bk.. which has caused so much pain for u.. im sorrie.. I noe I’ve been calling u to be urself yet on another hand I kept controlling ur life.. I duno y am I lik tt.. but guess it’s something of me tt is very hard to change and a criteria which makes me nt fit to be someone’s stead… hey hey I think I noe y u ask tt qn already.. wat happen significantly on tt dae was when I tot u were angry wif me tt incident.. I duno.. but wat make me seat on the floor at first was out of fun if I nv rem wrongly… den later it became something both of us gt angry or irritated wif each other about.. oops.. hahah nw u noe wat it means by lack of communication cause misunderstanding.. haha.. at least I feel tt that was the lesson learnt from there becos I din find out hw u feel… haha bt guess u dun wana to tell me also..

Okie this lead to my nxt point y I feel sad.. hahah tis sound lik a compo out of a sudden.. aiyo.. juz tok to Sharon.. miss her so much.. whee~!!! Her bdae yao lai le.. hahah.. basically I wan to sae I forget wat I wan sae liao… oops… o ya if Im not wrong, it’s about me reading ur blog den I found out tt u have been so troubled wif so many stuff but u nv tell me.. I feel sad becos u nv tell me.. but I feel even mre sad that i actually cause u nt to be urself.. lik pple always sae tis booboohead nv tell pple his problem.. since u gt tell me, its quite gd liao… but u gt force den sae one lohz… duno whether u actually find me a bother when I kept asking u to tell me hw u feel, but I noe I will if pple kept asking me.. im sorrie.. I try nt to ask den.. haiz.. wo ba piggy bi feng le.. sa yang saying.. I always wanted to hear ur opinions.. bt u dun wan to tel me.. prob becos u noe telling me hw u feel will nt change anything but make me try to compromise only.. haiz.. I oso duno wat to do.. tell me hw.. sometimes I feel useless.. cos my thinking and maturity level is nt that high to help u analyse ur problem.. prob tt makes u nt feel lik telling me…haiz..

oh no.. cant rem wat I wan to sae liao.. hahah.. juz wan to sae for another time I find tt we man you yuan again.. cos yest, sun, I was asking myself this qn, wat am I to u? have I evolved into that reason that brought u away frm her? Im sorrie.. I noe it’s an insult to u.. but this was hw I feel.. I wanted to find out wat mak u feel high becos I was afraid u choose someone else who was able to giv u that feeling since I am nt able to or I reject to… I am sorrie.. I noe it will hurt u very badly after reading this.. sorrie for nt having confidence in u.. wat happen to u and pris in the past did affect me a lot for sometime… though it doesn’t really nw but… I duno hw to sae lahz.. duno wats my prob lahz.. ARGH!! Haiz.. does it means I dun hav feelings 4 u liao? I duno.. ni ke yin na wo lai chu qi.. I wont mind.. as long as im able to help u feel a little beta.. aiyo stupid piggy.. nw I really forget wat I wan to type liao.. haiz..

ooo.. I realize I haven ans u the qn.. wat r u to me? I always wanted us to be a “best friend couple” haiz.. bt it juz seem so difficult.. haiz.. wont giv up hoping!!! :D but nw let juz be innocent piglets and concentrate in our studies and all our friendships and relationships.. prob tt’s when I will learnt hw to appreciate u mre and find out if I’ve cheating ur feelings.. haiz hopeless me.. den u will nt becos of me hv so much mood swings and lose so much water.. u r always the one I will choose to turn to every times something bad happens or when something gd happen since we gt closer.. even if we weren’t that close last yr, u seem to still noe everything.. thx 4 always being there.. sorrie for nt being understanding to help u thru those diff times of urs.. I really treasure those times… if being in a relationship hinders u frm saeing certain things, I rather be a frienz… im sorrie.. sorrie 4 hurting u with those words and sorrie 4 nt being there to clean those tears of urs if they are rolling down uncontrollably…


5/9
6.05pm