hey hey.. im back again.. guess the only time i really settle down to blog is when i really do not have anione to turn to... i still have piggy.. however i feel that the matter is better read than said.. duno why.. prob becos i'll be able to sae finish everyting at 1 shot.. oso u dun hav to trouble ur ears and hear me whine when you r playing...
hmm.. duno hw to start.. i cant say i hav mood swings cos my time of the month is not here yet.. cant sae i hav depression cos my mood actually resume after sometime.. juz that something is troubling me.. i dun feel happy.. gets very upset this few daes when it comes to speech.. haiz.. toking seems to be the hardest thing to me now.. haiz.. i always seem to be saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.. is like i noe it's wrong but somehow i'll repeat my mistakes without realising it.. haiz..
initally it was about me not listening to pple speak.. duno if i hav improved but i doubt so.. haiz though im trying my best not to lose my temper at jaz.. haha.. trying only.. hmm.. piggy's matter.. i duno but this few daes din consult him on any thing so he cant sae whether i got listen to pple's opinion not.. bleahz.. but i guess that is not the main prob now...
hahaha.. pple get back results will feel sad becos they din do well... or becos they din meet their expectations.. but me i overshot my expectation and im very happy with my results.. but on anothr hand.. feel sad.. becos im insensitive in a way.. like one of my friend always sae.. when u do well, and pple around you dun do well.. u better dun tok.. but.. how r you going to suppress ur feelings? okie fine.. keep quiet.. but when u see that u lose by a few marks to a higher grade, u would wan to find out where go wrong, what careless mistake u made.. but i guess in the midst of doing so.. rem about the people around you.. this is one lesson i have learnt.. it din really happen to me.. but it was my frien's comments about another ger whu did better than her but was 'complaining' that she miss her nxt grade by a small margin.. my frien felt... you shd noe.. so hard to explain.. what occur to me,which i regret doing, was to actually start a conversation wif a frien hu din do as well but looking to thru her paper, and trying to find out where did i lose my marks.. prob to some is normal.. but i think it will be very hurtful to some.. okie piggy.. dun saei over-sensitive again...
another thing that affects me is.. i cant control myself toking about the qns i cant do in the paper.. saeing that it was difficult...saeing that i cant do well... i mean.. out of 10pple.. at least8 will discuss about the paper and comment that they wont do well.. prob on purpose or becos of lack of self confidence...but do you noe this irritates pple the most... esp when u do well in the end.. haiz.. sad... piggy tt's y i sae i muz go into isolation... cos i noe i wont be able to keep quiet about it... my freind sae... it's best to keep quiet about it when u are not sure whether u will do well anot, and u can go ahead, 'in a way', when u r sure tt u wont do well cos it will not affect or irritate pple when ur results are back becos it juz reflects the truth on what u sae... but sometimes it's juz too difficult... and i guess i have in a way irritated my this friend.. qouted from another friend u tok to:'everytime after getting results muz have earpiece when im around' (not the actual words, but something like tt).. i duno what was her tone when she saed that.. but i was very affected by it.. prob she was really joking.. but to me it still holds some truth becos she said something like ' u always sae u wont do well, but in the end, u still do well'...and she is easily 'irriated' when pple saes this and it does not happen...
piggy... i noe u wanted me to be happy.. im not blaming u.. but i really din wan her to noe i was affected by what she saed.. cos i feel that we nw very gan ga.. pls pls.. dun ask her to read this.. she saed nothing wrong.. bt she apologised.. wont it juz make her more conscious about wat she sae? i dun wan tt to happen.. i wan her to speak frm her heart.. haiz.. lets pray hard that we wont be gan ga bahz... btw me feeling ok liao... even b4 u replied me... i think.. haiz... i juz wanted to tell u hw i felt... haix...
sorrie piggy think this few daes u have to bear with me.. maybe i'll juz asking u or questioning u the same thing... hmmm in a way its good.. cos tis will let u noe tt im psycho!!! and let you think about our future again... :D .. i guess 4 me.. im not going to care about nxt time.. but juz be crazy wif u!!! :D so tt means i can bully u as much as possible becos i'll be treating each meeting as the last timei c u!!! :D
wait!!! i think im crazy... im feeling fine now.. but anything sad comes about, i noe i'll be more affected den usual.. sorrie pple.. esp piggy and gong gong...
